Tuesday, April 9, 2013

a continuation from yesterday on self worth

i guess i never really thought about the basic message of christianity.  i've often thought of the absurdity of teenage girl getting pregnant and claiming it the work of the holy spirit.  i just don't see how that would fly in any time period.  even way back when, in a more simpler time when mystery was certainly more widely accepted, it seems quite a stretch.  admittedly, i can't prove it didn't happen, i'm just amazed that so many people do believe this to be real. 

what struck me recently, though, was just how potentially damaging the message, not the details, of christianity may be.  when you grow up in something you just think of it as normal.  growing up in a conservative thread of christianity, being told that we were damaged goods due to adam's sin, was just par for the course.  i didn't see anything wrong with it. even as an adult, it certainly explained all the bad in the world.  even when i left christianity, i didn't leave the thought process of "marred by sin" through adam.  i left behind the belief that only jesus as he is understood through the bible and, more importantly, via the apostle paul, is the path to eternal life if there is, in fact life after death.  but i never questioned the idea of sin.  i am now questioning that.  to be certain, there are things that happen that are bad.  there are people who don't hold back there own desires when they trample on someone elses.  there are many people, myself included, that don't fully understand that living a selfless life will bring fullfillment.  i think jesus understood that and i wonder if the message that's being preached today by the main-stream church, was anything like the message he was preaching 2000 years ago.  forget about his divinity.  what about just the basics of his message. 

was his message really...

you suck because some dude thousands of years ago really messed up.  he messed up so bad that his creator, his dad, whose image he was created in, can't be near him.  he can't be near you either.  well, that's not completely true.  IF you follow this other dude that lived about 2000 years ago as he's interpretted by yet another dude who never even met him in person, then you can commune with your creator. 

sounds just as crazy as some buried tablets found in upstate ny.  but that's not the point here!  the point is the message.  the message is you suck.  yes, you reflect your creator somehow, but you still suck. 

the ultimate in conditional love - you suck because some dude thousands of years ago fucked up.  but wait...if you follow this dude that lived 2000 years ago, as interpreted by some other dude that never met him in person (only in a dream/vision) then you're worthy of being loved by your creator.  

how is this any better than finding tablets buried in upstate NY?

Monday, April 8, 2013

self worth

this morning, after skipping the gym for the start of my 5th week in a row, i got into the shower and the first "words" in my mind were, "You suck!"

a true indication of where i am but exactly where i should not be.  really, should anyone be there? 

i have 4 kids and am completely against the type of parenting that only gives children positive reinforcement even when they just hit their sibling over the head with a bat to get the ice cream they wanted.  but this morning did give me pause at the message that was communicated to me as a child and the message i'm communicating to my children. 

brought up in the church you're taught that you're a sinner and you can't do anything about it.  confess your sins, ask jesus to help keep you away from sins, build fences around your life to keep the sins away, etc.  while there were people around me who had the "you suck because you're human" attitude,  i don't think my parents, friends parents or my average teacher (with the exception of my hs bible teacher) ever specifically said "you suck".  it's much more subliminal than that.  we're told we're created in god's image, but that image was severely marred by sin.  and...there's nothing YOU can do about it.  best you can do is what i stated above. 

well that does suck.  i do make choices.  often they're selfish.  often i could have made a better choice.  but it's still my choice.  i'm not defined by adam's sin.  i'm defined by my choices.  if i am made in god's image, then i reflect a pretty amazing...(well that's hard to define)...and i don't think i need to believe adam is to be taken literally.  i'm not sure why god would create me selfish, but i generally put myself first.  HOWEVER, the good thing about choices is, you can choose differently next time.  maybe you won't, maybe you will.  bottom line is that you, that i have the ability to choose the kind, loving, healthy, non-selfish choice.  i often do.  if i can make that good choice, i am good.  i don't suck. 

i don't want that to be self-help psycho babel, but i don't want to define myself by the "bad" more than the "good".  i am not incapable of making the right choices. 

i would like to think that the fall really is just a human attempt at explaining why bad is in the world.  a story of a possibility rather than historic fact. 

blogger tells me, on average, 12 people read every post i write...your thoughts??