Tuesday, September 29, 2009

without church

the title of this blog represents my journey away from the church and how that's affecting my life. i was naive in leaving thinking i would just be leaving behind a belief structure. i found that "church" was a much bigger part of my existence. social, community and coping mechanisms revolving around the church all are deeply engrained in how i do/did life. with the exception of a few years during and after college, church and the community that follows, was the foundation i built my life on. leaving it has been quite like attempting to move a large structure from its foundation. it can be done, but it's quite costly, time consuming and causes quite a bit of damage in the process.

Friday, July 17, 2009



it's how i feel, it's what i'm experiencing, it's what i'm acting like, it's how i'm perceiving the actions of those around me.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

truth and knowledge

truth is an end

knowledge is a journey

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


real or perceived?

experienced or created?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


being truly alone is almost an impossibility for most of us. we're so packed into pockets of this earth that being outside a close proximity to another person seldom happens. that being the case, why is it that we have the feeling of being alone?

Monday, February 2, 2009

homosexuality, truth and fear

A response I posted at another blog...

I think the issue is so much greater than homosexuality. The religious right has shown themselves to be very uncomfortable with and often beligerent to any people group or ideology that doesn't fit their paradigm. Life is static, black and white. The truth has been revealed and found by them - done. Anything outside of this truth structure is a threat and therefore hard, if not impossible for them to deal with. If they allow the possibility that something in their truth structure is wrong, the whole thing falls apart because it's all based on absolutes. I would agree that there are absolutes, where I differ is my willingness to admit that God may not have revealed all absolutes or the complete nature of His absolutes to us. Beacause of that, I'm free to love and not judge people I don't agree with or don't understand. What a wonderful freedom that is! Getting past what church people are taught to do - be offended and therefore protective of their faith structure - was a big hurdle in my life and can only imagine that it is for many others. What pushed me over the edge was the realization that my offense and protection of the religious structure I was brought up in was really pride. My insecurity of what I was brought up to believe was brought to light when called into question and that's really all about me. It has NOTHING to do with God. When I see televangelists and religious right leaders charging against oh so many issues (including homosexuality) I'm struck by the fact that they can't see past their own fear. In my opinion, fear is what is motivating them. Fear of losing their comfy way of thought and life. Fear that their children will not accept their ways. Fear that they'll have to do some deep soul searching that can be painfully uncomfortable if you've never allowed yourself to do so. But, again, it's all about them. They try to twist it into love or minimally altruism but most outside the sect see it for what it is. I applaud any church that welcomes and encourages free thought and respectful disagreements. Yes, it can be messy, it's not the suburban perfectly manicured, conflict free bliss so many aim for, but it is how we learn if we afford ourselves the opportunity.

Monday, January 26, 2009

some days reality is just too overwhelming to face.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


i can't help but think that everything i need to know about God is staring me right in the face - all of nature including this planet, what's on it, in it, under it, over it and outside of it. so let me list what i see...

-size - it's unfathomably large

-diverse - limitless from where i sit

-complicated - often hard to understand

-consistent - we get the four seasons every year and daylight everyday (depending on where you live)

-beautiful - definitions may vary but there is beauty in everything we see

-incredible power - look at a storm, look at hurricanes/floods/tornadoes etc.

-a bit of an edge, maybe even anger - see above

-evolution - yeah, i said it, EVOLUTION!!! you can argue the cause but you can't argue the effect. things are definitely different today than they were 2000 years ago.

-humility - i'm still working this one out, but there's something to be said about who/what created all this and restraint we see in nature



-necessity of interaction