Self Control

"AS FAR GOES MY SELF CONTROL, AS FAR GOES MY FREEDOM"

- John T. as posted on "Losing My Religion" blog (http://societyvs.wordpress.com/)

memory has a lot to do with it as well...

People who forget the past repeat it.

How do we encourage ourselves to remember better? In the heat of the moment we, I, have this fabulous ability to block everything out! I can see no further than the inside of my eyes. Anyone and anything around me fades and all I'm aware of are the emotions I feel - fear, embarrassment, hurt, anger, greed, lust. I cease to be part of a community and retreat inward to the inner most portions on my being. I don't come out until after the repetition is complete. I then have my vision back but it's too late. The world comes alive again and I see the breakdown in community that I've created. It's all part of the process and needn't be cause for self loathing but must be cause for self reflection and growth. I just wish the self reflection and growth would come before the retreat. It does at times and will more in the future. That is where I glean hope. That is where I find freedom.